Over the River and Through the Woods

I am heading up to my hometown of Lancaster, Ohio, located halfway between Ohio State and Ohio University on Route 33 for the Thanksgiving Holiday. My husband and I both grew up in the same small town so we have lots of family in one place.  But this seems to be the year where everyone is with their in-laws so we will eat with a smaller than normal gathering.

My food assignments are: Mashed Potatoes (I am making the make-ahead recipe with sour cream and cream cheese), Sweet potatoes and green bean casserole. I can cook most of this ahead of time but transporting it hot for a two hour car drive is making me a little nervous.


Keeping things hot! Now how do I accomplish this task? Looking beyond my food assignments, how do I keep my passion for life/God "hot"? Lately, not feeling well with my colitis and some emotional stress has left me without a consistent glow for God.


Whenever I feel like my relationship with God is strained and leaving me low on the passion meter, if I can begin to reiterate my thankfulness for the little things, I tend to snap right back. 


Here are some of my things I am thankful for: a reliable car, a working furnace in my home, enough money to enjoy frivolous things such as eating out and buying the occasional expensive coffee drink, my children liking one another, a husband who doesn't mind putting the lights on the Christmas tree, a job, good friends, enough kitchen equipment to prepare meals for my family, living in a cul-de-sac, great neighbors, comforters to wrap up in, a warm coat, shoes, a dog that likes to give puppy kisses.


Sound silly? I need to recognize these small things in order to cultivate a softer heart and keep my passion hot for God.

image from FreeFoto.com

Life Goes On

I felt a little guilty bowling in the church league last night. 


Earlier in the day, while I was letting the dog out for her morning ritual, I heard a lot of sirens. As I stood listening on the deck, I could hear the blare abruptly stop, telling me the accident was close by. Sure enough, as I drove over the highway, on my way to my coffee date, I glanced down onto the freeway and saw chaos below. It looked like multiple cars were involved and traffic flow going North was completely shut down. My first thought was, "I hope it is no one I know", but then I chided myself, realizing it could be anyone, given the road is a major thoroughfare for this part of the country.


Turns out I did know the driver who caused the wreck.  She was the older sister of a close friend of my daughter's. Unfortunately, she and another woman died in the accident.  Now, four young children will grow up without their mother. A man without his wife.  At the time of this writing, one young girl still clings to life but certainly will have some complications if she lives. One young man lost his 25 year old bride. Lives are now changed forever.


How would I feel if I suddenly lost my child or spouse?  I would want just a little bit of everyone else's world to stop just as mine had stopped for me. A pause in the beat. I would want their normal to change.


Like I said, I felt a little guilty bowling last night.


Psalm 139:14-17   ¹⁴I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. ¹⁵My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; ¹⁶Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.  ¹⁷How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 

Emotion list

Last night a post-retreat group met to practice some of the skills we learned during our weekend at Kings Domain. My typical role in this group is to weigh in with a question or maybe a suggestion on how to rephrase someone else's clarifying question. But last night the group kindly gave me a few minutes to share what was going on in my heart. 

There's something about staying current with a small group of women who are there to support and encourage you. Encouragement and accountability can really flourish in these settings and I felt a connection with these women after only three meetings.

After sharing an area we struggle with, one thing we focus on is "next steps." Two of us walked away from the table with the same application: to make a list of our emotions. What am I feeling as I walk the difficult road I am walking? I believe it helps to put those feelings into words and onto paper.

So here is some of my current list:

Anger: Displeasure, hostility. An emotional state that may range in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.

Resentful: Feeling of bitterness or indignation.

Sad: Unhappy. Feeling sorrow 

Frustration:  A deep dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs.

Depression: Pessimistic sense of inadequacy, lack of activity.

Self-pity: A self-indulgent dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes.

Anxiety: An abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension often marked by physiological signs 

*Note: I am aware that the above list contains only negative emotions. I find some of them very difficult to deal with so that is why I listed them. There are many bright moments in my life with positive emotions but those are not the ones I am focusing on at the moment. While its not always good to dwell on the negative, the purpose of this exercise was to identify the negatives and try and diffuse some of the power they might have over me.

Reader, what are some emotions on your list?

Image by:  Filomena Scalise